Dumb Criminals

Someone is trying to rob me of my…
August 30, 2005 @ 12:07 pm · Filed under Drugs, Dumb Criminals
A less than intelligent Queens man was jailed after he called cops to report that he was being robbed — of his pot, prosecutors said. Jean Mere, 21, allegedly dialed 911 last Wednesday to report a holdup. “I called the police because someone was trying to rob me of my marijuana,” Meme told cops, according to court papers. “That is my car and my marijuana. I was going to sell the marijuana.” Police spotted more than 8 ounces of pot in plastic bags inside the car. Meme, of Queens Village, was ordered held on $2,000 bail at his arraignment.


Jury Duty
May 9, 2005 @ 12:16 am · Filed under Other
In Fredericksburg, Texas, there is a local ne’er-do-well. His criminal acts include such gems as offering to send a bomb to the local District Attorney, and assaulting the girl’s basketball coach during an argument about his daughter’s game. Mostly, though, he upsets the local cops by committing some minor infraction, and then racing home to his junkyard (a genuine junkyard), locking the gates and refusing to come out and be arrested. In order to avoid a Waco-type standoff, they mostly just let him stay inside. One day, however, a worker at the courthouse noticed that this guy’s name came up on the list to be sent a summons for jury duty. She mentioned to the Sheriff that she out to just throw it away, right? And the Sheriff told her to send it anyway. Lo and behold, on the day the jury convened, who should show up but our hero, who was promptly arrested and hauled off to jail. Guess you can’t let a little fear of arrest stop you from performing your patriotic duties.